The truth about... Sexual Fantasies

Millions of women the world over are spicing up reality with a healthy dose of their own imagination... Fantasies provide some of the best lubrication you're going to find outside a tube of KY and the resulting orgasms can be the most fulfilling.

The truth about... Sexual Fantasies

What's it all about?

They don't have to be lust-fuelled orgies of recklessness and obscene abandon - the perfect fantasy may just be simple imaginings of gentleness and sweetness, a replay of past experiences or dreams of what you'd like to do with a new lover whose goodbye kiss got you all of a dither.

However, the chances are, it's not your lover, partner or husband who takes a starring role, but the guy you see every day at the bus stop, your friend's husband or maybe even your friend and her husband...

Common fantasies

It's a common trait of fantasies that they sit outside comfortable 'normality'. Being the wicked things that they are, they also have a tendency to challenge our idea of what is acceptable and even test our faithfulness and loyalties.

Among the themes that crop up most frequently are adultery, S&M, group sex and bondage - a shopping list of sexual extremes or no-gos that don't sit comfortably in a happily married world with two kids and a big shop at the supermarket on a Monday... although what better escape from the tedium of checkout queues?

Five top tips on getting it right

1. Are you ready to reveal all?

They say what goes on tour stays on tour and, similarly, what happens between your ears has a right to stay there, undisturbed and unrepeated. However, if you do feel the desire to share, be careful what you bring out into the open or at least ready for the consequences…

2. Too much honesty isn't a good thing!

You won’t necessarily be flavour of the month for saying you’ve imagined doing it doggy style with his best mate. However, if he trusts you, and that’s how his sexuality ticks, it may get him going. Just don’t be surprised if, in return, he admits that he’s always quite fancied your friend and likes the idea of a threesome.

3. Remember, men and women think differently

Men and women typically fantasise in different ways. Men tend to focus on one image, one moment (which is reflected by the heavily plotless content of many porn films) whereas women tend to prefer something a little more involving. A story, with personalities, a map that leads them to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Get your man to tell you a story while you’re making love. Ask him to tell you what he’d really like to do or see and, if he’s got your number, it will get the sparks flying.

4. Test the waters

When sharing fantasies, it’s only sensible to hint at your sexual desires before hitting your partner with your deepest and darkest. If you are introducing someone to the wanton, deviant and downright smutty version of you, break them in gently before heading for the policeman’s uniform, jelly mold and horsewhip…

5. Be careful what you wish for

And one last thing: if you are tempted to turn your fantasy into reality, be ready for disappointment. The imagination has a wonderful knack of ignoring the complications and lumps and bumps of a situation. While some fantasies lend themselves beautifully to being acted out, others don’t. Proceed with caution and be prepared to push that impure thought back where it came from.