An entire cutlery drawer
Hide the silver! Rushed to hospital with stomach pains, Netherlands woman Margaret Daalman was shown on X-ray to have around 78 forks and spoons in her stomach. She had swallowed them. The reasons behind this were unclear but medics theorized that the medical condition known as pica could be to blame. It has been documented as leading pregnant women to eat non-food items including dirt, coal and metal, but the canteen of cutlery was a first. Pass the salt.
A prison survival kit
A Florida prisoner showed all those over-packers how travelling light could be done when he was caught trying to smuggle the bare essentials into jail. Forget capsule wardrobe, this felon had squeezed 17 pills, a cigarette, 6 matches, a flint, a syringe, lip balm and a condom inside another condom (best to be safe). With not even hand luggage allowed in the Florida state penitentiary he’d hidden his stash up his rectum. Where else?
Fast food fork
Ever been told off for ‘inhaling your food’? John Manley had been suffering chronic breathing and lung problems causing coughing fits and fainting in public. When he finally made it to A&E what he worried was a growth in his lung was found to be a piece of plastic fork from fast food outlet Wendy’s which he’d accidentally breathed in while eating a meal. Ouch.
We’ve all been there, done something dramatic but ultimately stupid in the heat of an argument. Plates smashed, clothes thrown out the window? But a young woman in Fosham, China, tried to get her point across mid-row by swallowing 20 cobblestones. After a few days hoping nature would take it’s course – and clanking whenever she walked – the stones had to be removed by surgery.
A bit hairy
When 18 year old girl visited the Rush University Medical Centre, Chicago, with symptoms including stomach pains and severe weight loss, medics feared the worst. An X-ray revealed a ‘large dark mass’. However when they operated they discovered not a tumour, but a 10 pound ball of human hair over a foot long. When even your cat is looking at you in disgust…
Medics mess up
In medical surgery you expect to come out of theatre with something taken out but Daryoush Mazarei emerged with an unexpected addition. The 57-year old had undergone an operation and for two years was in extreme discomfort. When he was finally given a CT scan a pair of 10 inch medical tweezers were found to have been left in his abdomen.
Joking that a beer belly makes your man look pregnant may seem funny to you, but it can be hurtful. So spare a thought for Sanju Bhagat of Nagpur, India, who was teased since childhood for his bloated belly. After years of suffering pain and breathing problems he was admitted to hospital. Surgery revealed the tragic truth of a half-formed foetus, complete with limbs, hair and genitalia, that Bhagat had been carrying with him his whole life.
Another set of stomach pains, another visit to A&E. For one eight year old girl in Indiana what could have been no more than a bout of indigestion turned out to be a secret stash of… fridge magnets. How repellent. The child had surreptitiously swallowed over 30 magnets which of course were all attracted to each other, forming a life-threatening magnet mash-up that had to be surgically removed.
Yes, really. It sounds like the stuff of nightmares but it happened. A 63 year old South Korean woman got ‘pregnant’ with 12 squid babies when she ate some partially-cooked seafood which hadn’t had it’s organs removed. Doctors removed twelve ‘small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms’ from the woman’s tongue and cheek. We’ll have the vegi pasta next time, thanks.
Feeling the vibe
Vibrators having to be pulled out of orifices is all in a days work for a medic. Just ask your friend who is a nurse about the things she’s seen. However this pleasure seeker makes the list because not only did an X-ray reveal a large vibrator up his rectum, it also showed that his DIY attempts to retrieve it had failed miserably – there was a pair of salad tongs lodged there too. Kinky.